Watch Live: April the Giraffe Showing ‘Continued Increase in Belly Movement’

….Just the Facts……

Born at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Carbondale, PA on February 19, 1966. Grew up a mile north of there in Simpson, where bars and churches outnumber country clubs by a factor of fifty. Attended Fell Elementary School in the 70s. At recess got hit in the head by a metal swing while looking at green bug in swing’s path. Graduated with honors and bump on head in 1978.

Age 12, tried to be football star, failed. Attended Carbondale Area High School, but stayed loyal to Simpson friends. Joined football team, didn’t start. Age 14, got golf clubs as present. Sold golf clubs for $200, bought personal Computer. Took apart computer and Mom’s stereo, got grounded. Went to senior prom…Hated It! Acted like sheep following herd, ended up in wrong direction. Slowly became individual, being true to oneself! Graduated in 1984, skipped ceremony, threw gown away, looked for new sheep, or NO SHEEP!

Left home at 18 to attend Millersville University. Majored in Earth and Space Science! Great sheep! Didn’t join football team. Graduated in 1988….Solid B student! Drove around in rusty 1978 Ford Fairmount looking for job. Changed oil every 3000 miles on Ford. Landed teaching job at Carbondale Area High School in 1988. Bump on head cleared up.

Age 22, bought new car, no rust, began science teaching career. Courted pretty brunette just a few miles down the road! Explained bump and sheep issues!

The 20 somethings..Got married to Dawn (pretty brunette), reproduced (Joseph, Luke, Aleah), stuccoed house, got hernia. Played touch football, hockey, cycling and worked at WNEP-TV on weekends. 1999, became full time at WNEP-TV. Left teaching science career, hernia cleared.

The 30 somethings…Masters Degree in Biology/Environmental Science from East Stroudsburg University. Solid B student. Got another degree and hernia! Being DAD, best thing ever done with body! Offspring…Better, smarter, faster…Must be pretty brunette. The 40s somethings…Instructor at Marywood University. Cycling more, less football, more nose and ear hairs. Being DAD, still best thing ever…Offspring may not agree! Pretty bruenette still pretty. More on inside than outside! Thank you Uniiverse!

Continues to live in peace, love, and happiness.

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