Mike Stevens: “Know When to Fold”

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I bet you folks think we sit around the newsroom and think only of news: what to cover, where to get pictures, who to talk to and those sorts of things. Well, a lot of that goes on but we turn to other things from time to time. Folding fitted sheets, for example.

Somebody mentioned that folding a fitted sheet was about as difficult and complex an operation as folding a road map. I never ask where these topics come from, they just seem to appear but I stand ready to scoop up the residue from the wisdom used to explain positions. Why, sometimes that residue can get pretty deep and seems to deepen faster than I can shovel but that’s another matter.

The generally agreed upon argument was that fitted sheets are impossible to fold neatly, especially the king size. Everybody agreed for once and that was good; all stated unequivocally that those sheets were impossible to fold even if you tried to put a brand new one back in the bag to, say, return it. Couldn’t be done, everyone nodded. Someone in the back mentioned that it might be a generational thing because her mother was very capable of folding a fitted sheet no matter the size. We all chewed on that awhile and decided it was possible. Somebody suggested that if we were really in need of an answer a committee would be good and maybe a few folks from engineering, production and even the control room might come together in common cause to see if we could get to the root of the problem.

“What problem is that?” the news director asked as he came out of his office.

The phone rang right about then and things broke up. Too bad! I bet I would have needed a front-end loader to gather up the residue from that answer.