Full Text of the Sandusky “Love Letters”

sandusky_trial

BELLEFONTE- Centre County court officials allowed reporters to page through the evidence from the Jerry Sandusky trial after jurors began deliberations on Tuesday. 

Among the many pieces of evidence prosecutors had in the case are so-called “creepy love letters” that alleged Victim 4 testified Sandusky sent to him.  What follows is a transcript of each letter. The first is a third person story Victim 4 said Sandusky sent to him.  The letters were written in Sandusky’s handwriting.  Some words are tough to make out, you will find lines in place of those words.  The alleged victim’s name has been removed for his protection.

“The B-J Story”(sent to Victim 4)

Jer was scared to death, studied in the playground

Times were not always perfect.  There were ups and down.  There were arguments, fights, they cared!  No matter what, there was a connection that would help them last through this difficult time.  There was always a sensitive, caring feeling deep inside.  Jer had learned through many experiences that life isn’t perfect, even with someone he confided to be his “best friend”

Life is far from perfect at this stage.  Something or things have come into [Victim 4]’s life that appears to have taken him over.  Its powerful, a cloud of smoke that has engulfed him, for Jer it has been a dark cloud.  Both seemed to fight it, coming over trying to do ­­­­­_____ but couldn’t pull it off.  He seems to bring the both more and more.  I ­­­_____ the cloud ­­­_____ and taken over.  It has smothered something and love, taken away his caring and enthusiasm.  His enthusiasm has been replaced by sleep, his caring replaced by …  “Tell me another story Jer” has been replaced by “I don’t care” this cloud has destroyed … this is fear that it has reached his inside, really his feelings.

Jer believes that there will always be something special inside [Victim 4].  He hopes that it will last, return, if it has left.  The players miss him.  They say, “Come back, [Victim 4]!”  “Stay with us, [Victim 4]!”  Jer would love to have the good times back.  The players shout “Be with us til the end!”

Jer would love to hear, “Tell me another story, Jer.” Jer may not be worthy, but he needs a “best friend” it doesn’t look real good.

Jer understands life and its changes.  He’s proud, too proud to beg for a finish, extended family member.  The story will ends the way that [Victim 4] wants it.  Jer wants to be there to the end, but that’s [Victim 4]’s call.  If [Victim 4] ever needs him, he’ll come.

Regardless, they have had an experience that others wont.  Jer will not forget and always care.

Letter 1

[Victim 4],

Once again, I have decided to write some of my thoughts.  I write because you mean so much to us.  I write because I am concerned about all of us.  I write because I am concerned about all of us.  I write because I have seen the hurt on Tim’s face when you don’t show for him, even though you have given your word.  I write because of the churning in my own stomach when you don’t care.  I write because I still hope that there will be meaning to the time we have known each other.

Tim and I have seen this before, had similar experiences, and to be honest not very happy conclusions.  You like to express yourself in a straightforward manner.  This will be a very direct message from us.

When seen to be a conveniences.  When it is inconvenient or a better deal comes along you leave a trial of broken promises.  Communicate seem to be meaningless.

You are able to connect from person to person to person, object to object.  You seek happiness through control, domination, and what satisfies the moment.  You have to hit the home run, swing for the fence.  You don’t understand or care not to worry about loyalty, commitment or caring.  The ____so to get what you want regardless of others.

On the surface this may appear to work for you.  People enjoy your youthfulness.  Different people show up to give you temporary fulfillment.

We could be wrong but doesn’t believe this is how it works..

You will get older.  People will expect more.  Your youthfulness will disappear.  If you cannot care, you will not be able to live up to the expectations.  Your so-=called “best friends” will vanish.  Happiness will escape your life.

You might want to stop and think about time happiness.  It seems to come more often when your don’t try so hard, look to just get a simple reach out to others, lose yourself, become satisfied with … simple people who care.

It’s your life! You can continue as you have, keep looking for happiness’s or you can find it.  We’d love to be a part of your life, but that’s your choice.

We’ve been here, made it through some challenges.  Went to always be there for you!

With some help and a lot of caring we are:

Jer and Tim  [There was no discussion in the trial of who Tim is]

Letter 2

[Victim 4],

I hope that writing some of my thoughts will not … you as much as I do personally.

We have known each other for almost two years; gone through many highs and lows.  There was tremendous encouragement as we went through last summer and into the fall.  You seemed like you had ____ into everything and were doing well.  Those who had poured out their guts for you, stood by you, were there when you needed them, swelled with pride in your accomplishments.

Somehow this all slipped away.  Agreements with people who really care about you didn’t mean anything.  You started missing school, your attitude, grades, and self-esteem dropped.

We tried many ways to get you to do your work but failed.  You kept driving us away.  It became clear that there were only two ways to make a difference in your life, and they weren’t working.  Somebody had to care enough to take control and help you succeed.  Tim and I cared enough but were not in that kind of position.  The only other hope was that you would attach to us, care enough, and want to please yourself and others.

Inch by inch you continued to drive those that live and would die for you out.  Instead, you bounce from one person to another, always measuring what others are willing to do for you.

Where are we?  Discouraged, but were still here, hope to remain.

When it comes to school, I conclude that there is a nothing that I can do or say that will make a difference.  However, there is always hope.  Maybe you wont quit.  Maybe you will decide down the road to make an effort.  Maybe time will be something that will ___ help in the future.  I will be there as long as you want me.  I’ll stand by you so a person who has been a large part of my life.  I’ll always care!

I see you getting better in soccer, playing hockey, etc.  Hopefully, you will not throw this opportunity away.  There is so much that I enjoy about you.  You have special qualities.  Hang on to the positive experiences whether you want us there or not.  When it is all said and done remember us as very … people who cared, tried, and always wanted to be a true friend (there in the clutch)

You will always be meaningful to me!

Keep climbing!  Keep on Keepin’ On!

Jer

Letter 3

[Victim 4],

I thought that I would take a moment to share some thoughts, information and quotes.  As you approach your 16th birthday each day becomes more important.  You will be making many decisions that will affect the rest of your life.  I hope that this will be taken as words of encouragement and hope.  My wish is that you will find the strength and the courage to make commitments that will bring you fulfillment and happiness

The crystal ball says “anything is possible” you can live your life in pool hall, selling cigarettes or go to college and provide for others.  You can make and follow through with commitments or you can discard them for what appears to be a better deal.

You have begun by choosing to do the program.  You will win by staying with it.  I hope that you can become a winner.

Penn State football has been that.  I have been touched by winners.  I have observed commitment, I have seen people with pride, appreciation, love and sacrifice.  They worked – the result has been 2 national championships, more 10 win seasons than any other school in the last 30+ years.  5 undefeated seasons during this time, more bowl wins than anybody, won all major bowls etc..

I only say this to add credibility to what is said.  You don’t have to accomplish all that to be a winner all that you have to do is become the person you are capable of being. You must want it and be willing to scratch, hurt a little to get there.

Some quotes:

J.F.K. – “life was not designed as a prison in which a man awaits his execution.  It is not necessary to stay with what you have.  You have the capacity for great achievement, great loyalty, and great love.  And I would say to you, if you have this dream to make things better don’t sell out short.  Don’t back away.  If you have a song to sing, sing it.”

Teddy Roosevelt – The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena – whose face is marked by dust, heat, and blood; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best if he wins knows the thrills of high achievement and if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.

It’s your song, your choices, your life.  Id life to feel a small part of it and will be there, if you want.  I have believed and stuck up for you.

Letter 4

[Victim 4],

I’m starting this letter now and may not finish it until we get to Minnesota.  I enjoyed seeing you briefly when you came over for the wrestling.  It was very positive that you were going to soccer practice.  Said, it shows that you have loyalty to your team and coach.

I’m also pleased and proud of your performance in school.  You have so much potential and are beginning to realize it.  Hopefully, you will be able to handle your success and even build on it, going to a higher level.

When you came over it was an opportunity for me to observe something’s and think.  I saw a young man by the name of [Victim 4] show the potential to be a leader.  He gets along with others, isn’t too big for anybody, yet at the same time, leads by example, stand a little taller, has higher standards, is something special.. I’m convinced that you can be all

I’m also convinced that you belong to a special community here.  I saw it when you ran over to see Joe Rose (?)  I saw it when Lavar sprinted into the office that night to call you.  You belong with ……   they are your people

I observed some people at that wrestling match.  I may be wrong but I just feel that the ­­­______ people you have met over here have more substance that the _____ In pro wrestling.  I’m trying not to _____ but I love the Jim Martins and all of the others who have touched my life and now save lives.  I love their sincerity.  They are ____ very ___ yet extremely proud.  They ____ themselves out for others, and I know they care about you and will be there for you.  

[Victim 4], I don’t know what you think about me sometimes.  You never knew how long you have.  I ask you to stay to the ____ people over here.  Maybe you can come [Letter cut off]

Letter 5

[Victim 4],

In order to get everything done on time and to make sure that you have e chance to participate, I need the hockey information filled out.  Additionally, I need the program signed.  This is serious to me because I am committee to doing this for someone

I will work for a person who cares.  Please think seriously about it.  You have said that you are going to do it.  The purpose of the agreement is to make it clear what the rewards and expectations are.  I want you to be able to trust that I will follow through with what I say.

If you have any questions please talk to me.  I hope that is works for you.  Ill be there as long as you want me to be

Jer

Ps.  your mom can bring over the agreement when she brings the hockey information.  I hope she brings it Saturday

Letter Written to David Hilton, A former member of Second Mile who testified on Sandusky’s behalf and said he was never abused:

David,

Thanks for the memory!  Thanks for being so warm and friendly!  Thanks for your special touch!  Thanks for trying so much!  Thanks for being a very best friend!  Thanks for your willingness to care to the end!  Thanks for all you say and do!  Thanks really for just being you!

Happy birthday

Jer

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